Top 7 Strangest House MD Moments

originally written on Monday, March 7, 2011

Everyone has a favorite show that they watch nearly every week, whether it is Desperate Housewives, Fringe or, for some strange reason, Jersey Shore. We all have our guilty pleasures. But as the years went by, hospital shows began to blend, like ER and Grey’s Anatomy. In 2005, a new show had stood out due to an arrogant, but brilliant, doctor. The show: House MD. It is a classic blend of mystery and drama, though I don’t know if they’re both the same thing but I don’t know. I love House MD. I like the characters that have been created and the situations that they have overcome over the years. But even for the biggest fans, there seems to be some strange, stupid and confusing moments during the show’s course. So, I’m going to count down the top 7 strangest moments on House MD. Why top 7? 1) There are, as of March 2011, 7 seasons so far and 2) I’m too lazy to do a top 10. Let’s count them down.

7. House’s “hallelujah” moments

You may think this isn’t a strange moment, or moments, but it is! They come out of nowhere! Every time House is stuck on a case, he has a conversation with someone about something that has nothing to do with the case. All of a sudden, mid way through a sentence, he stops and looks at the ground, as if Satan is giving him the answers off camera in Hell. (well, he doesn’t believe in God.) I bet you that in one episode, he’ll be talking to someone about a car battery. All of a sudden. DING! He figures out an answer on how to cure cancer. Some people have all the contrived convenience. You can argue that it’s part of House’s personality but anyone could do it! In fact, in one episode, Kutner figured out something just by seeing that House doesn’t have a disease! Maybe it’s just me complaining but that’s why the “hallelujah” moments are so far on this list. Also, they make me laugh.

6. Season 4

Don’t get me wrong, this season was terrific! The third season finale had Chase, Cameron and Foreman all leave House’s team. No one knew what was going to happen next! Then this season came along and House made this game…by getting over 50 candidates to fight for THREE spots on his diagnostics team. It would’ve been so much better…except for one problem that affected other TV shows, along with House. THE WRITER’S STRIKE OF 2007/2008. Because of this, the season was about 16 episodes long while the past three seasons were at least 24 episodes long. Due to the short season, we didn’t really get to see everyone’s talents before House fired most of them, eventually leaving three. There were interesting characters that should’ve stayed on longer but, because of the shortened season, this season felt a bit rushed even, at one point, House fired a whole ROW of candidates because Cuddy said there was too many of them in a short time. That was the writers talking, loud and clear. Therefore, season 4 was going to be a kick ass season but it was rushed due to those pesky writers going on strike, leaving what could’ve been a lot more.

5. The Cameron and Chase “romance”

I found this annoying, even though I’m a fan of the show. It’s a basic “will they or won’t they” premise”. Guy likes girl, girl doesn’t like him back/plays hard to get, they have sex, etc, etc, etc, ETC! They try to create sexual tension, which works, AT TIMES! Sometimes, I felt that their “romance” was interfering with what they were doing. I was almost expecting them to kill a patient because they were talking about their feelings of one another. Chase likes Cameron, Cameron doesn’t like Chase, and Cameron likes House! Does she really like guys who are broken? Why couldn’t she marry Stephen Hawking? HE’S a genius. Eventually, Chase and Cameron do get together but we rarely see it because their work gets in the way! They work their feelings out after many predictable obstacles. By the end of season 5, the two get married…about f***ing time. I guess it takes girls five years on TV to find out what they really want…the actors, Jennifer Morrison and Jesse Spencer were at one point engaged but they called it off. But it’s true that nobody knows what they want because when Chase kills an important leader, played by James Earl Jones, Cameron has a conscience and leaves him after seven episodes into season SIX! Let me repeat that, the two were married at the end of SEASON FIVE and she leaves him seven episodes into SEASON SIX! Well, Cameron is no longer on the show, so there’s no need to worry about these moments between these two. Or the fact that she OBVIOUSLY LOVES HOUSE! Chase is kind of slow if the viewers can CLEARLY see this happening.

4. The Rape episode (One Day, One Room)

One of these episodes is not like the other ones, not like the other ones, not like the other ones! THIS third season episode is as close to a “Very Special Episode” that House MD has so far. Typical episodes deal with disease, lies and hidden thoughts. This episode didn’t really have any of that and it put me off. It was one of THOSE episodes. Don’t get me wrong, rape is a very serious thing and it’s a matter that shouldn’t be put into action…BUT THIS IS HOUSE MD! This is straight up Grey’s Anatomy…but I don’t think even Grey’s Anatomy went this way, probably because the doctors there were more focused on their own lives! In this episode, a girl walks in the clinic one day and starts to panic about being touched. She refused to receive any help…unless she talks to House. Really? What about Wilson? I like Gregory House and I would choose him to treat me but not to talk about rape…BECAUSE HE DOESN’T REALLY CARE! Wilson has a more sympathetic ear. It’s understandable that she and House went through some similar right patches but COME ON! In this show? This is an after school special that shouldn’t be on this show. Give it to Grey’s Anatomy or ER! Giving this show a “very special episode” is like putting a dramatic episode on The Simpsons. Just because you want to try something different, doesn’t mean that you shouldn’t do it again. Billy Crystal learned the hard way with City Slickers 2. Shaq learned the hard way after Steel. Jim Carrey learned with The Number 23. Again, put this episode in Degrassi or something, not a medical drama like House MD.

3. Martha Masters

She came along after Thirteen left, temporarily. She DID NOT FIT! She’s what you get if Cameron cared a LOT more for her patients. Thank God Thirteen would be back soon. I’m not going to get to into this because by the time anyone reads this LATER, this girl would be gone. She’s kind of a nuisance to the team. She’s a doctor! AND WAIT A MINUTE! If Thirteen left, couldn’t they get someone from the competition from season 4 and give them a chance?! It would be better than hastily grabbing Joan of Arcadia and write up something for her! She’s kind of why season 7 is faltering but it’s not her fault. Everyone else is serious and she just POPS! Thirteen pops but she’s as serious as everyone else. Cameron pops but because she cares for her patients too much and doesn’t look behind the patient. For me, she doesn’t fit but it’s not enough to get her the number one spot on the strangest moments on House MD.

2. Edward Vogler

Now, this was the first season. The idiots at Fox told the House people to put a villain for the show or get cancelled. BECAUSE they were Fox idiots, whatever they said went. Enter Edward Vogler, a rich guy who wanted to help, sorry, “help” the hospital by giving an EXTREMLY hefty donation. Unfortunately, he sees House, not dressed up in any kind of hospital uniform. This causes a problem and there are consistent confrontations between them. At one point, Voglar gather some of the staff to choose between House and the huge donation. House wins and Vogler was never seen again. This character proved that villains don’t work on House MD. Next time, the people for the show should SLAP THE SHIT OUT OF THOSE FOX DUMBASSES next time they come up with an idea that could mess up the show. This character just didn’t work at all. He was unlikable to both the viewers and the characters. Now, I know what you’re thinking: What about Detective Tritter? Well, unlike Vogler, there was a good reason to why he was harassing House: House stuck a thermometer up Tritter’s ass. THAT alone would cause anyone to go a bit nuts. I mean, how would you feel if someone was pissed off at you and shoved an unwanted object up your ass? (looks at the words S&M) I MEANT OTHER PEOPLE! Tritter had a good reason, Vogler DID NOT! Thank God he didn’t last even HALF the season. Voglar was intimidating, yet annoying. Tritter was intimidating, yet HE COULD DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT! That’s why Vogler is the second strangest thing on House MD…along with the dumbest.

Now, the number one STUPIDEST MOMENT ON HOUSE MD IS….

Please repeat after me...

1) The death of Lawrence Kutner

Kutner was a likable character. He was smart, funny, had some characteristics of House and, wait for it, was played by Kal Penn. People who watched the show liked this character a lot! Anyone could relate to him and that’s why he became one of the most popular characters on the show. However, one Monday night, everyone, viewers and characters, wondered why Kutner didn’t show up for work that day. So, Thirteen and Foreman break into Kutner’s apartment…and see Kutner’s body on the floor. They tried to save him but a fatal self-inflicted gunshot wound proved unfixable. Then…a commercial break. Now, I didn’t watch this episode THAT Monday night, I read it in the papers and was SHOCKED to hear about it. It was Kal Penn was a pen pal to Obama and he had to leave the show. SO THEY KILLED HIM OFF! They couldn’t have just made him move away so that if Penn wanted to come back, his character would be back?! DAMN YOU, FOX NETWORK! For me, this marked a bit of a decline of the show. You kill off a major, likable character, you could actually FEEL the soul being sucked out. It’s like if Homer Simpson was killed, NOT IN THE HALLOWEEN SPECIALS, in the regular episodes and never seen again. It’s like killing Liz and Jack in 30 Rock, what do you get? A funny show without any stability. For me, Kutner’s death was not only the most stupidest thing to do on this show, I don’t care if you don’t agree with me, but it was the most wasted. Everything started to get darker in tone and the curiosity of an ambitious doctor was no longer. The worst part is, even though it is in its 7th season, we STILL don’t know why he did it. It still gets to me every time he’s on screen. Thirteen has a disease that’s going to kill her, Taub has marital problem, along with Chase and Cameron who have relationship issues, and House, of course, with his drug problems, KUTNER SEEMS FINE! WHY KILL HIM OFF?! For many fans, they’ll ask the question that has been on my mind for years: Why?

And that is my top 7 strangest House MD moments. Hope you enjoyed it. If there is anything you want me to review, let me know…if anyone is reading this…I doubt it.